I felt I knew Michelle well enough where if I said anything, I could predict her response.
40 fun questions to ask your partner
So why bother talking about that subject? She already knew my schedule, and my life was dull, so why would she bother to ask what I was doing? We would have petty arguments just so there was something real to talk about. Michelle found an e-book online when she was trying to find topics for us to talk about.
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It was called Questions for Couples. After a short debate about making the purchase, she went ahead and bought it, and was able to download the e-book immediately.
One night when our conversation was lacking as usual, Michelle said that she was going to try this new book she bought. She started whipping out questions that I would never dream she would ask. We talked all night long that night, and continued to use the book for the next few nights thereafter.
One question had us talking for an hour! We were talking like we did when we first met: The key to using this book is to really bare it all. Try not to hold anything back. There might be some disagreements in the answers you provide, but at least you are talking!
Discuss your answers and explore. We suggest creating a weekly ritual of asking these questions — try it on a Friday night to recap the week.
Long Distance Relationship Questions | Questions for Couples
You can spiral off into other topics, of course, but the point is to start a real conversation that might help you cover new ground and learn more about your partner. If someone gave you enough money to start a business — no strings attached — what kind of business would you want to start and why? Are there areas in your life where you act like one type, and other areas where you act like another? What are the five most important things on your bucket list?
What are your top three strengths? Which strengths do you look for in a friend or partner? Name four things we have in common. What are the top three ways to express your love in friendships and in relationships?
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These questions will help you and your partner dive into conversation topics that are proven to enhance intimacy. According to psychologist Robert Emmons , gratitude is good for our bodies, minds, and relationships.
Gratitude does a few things: When you do something your partner is grateful for, it creates norm of reciprocity, and inspires your partner to do something nice in return. With this sort of positive chain reaction, you and your loved one will feel even more gratitude towards each other, which will make your relationship even stronger. Speaking of gratitude, reminiscing on past events is a sure way to inspire feelings of appreciation.
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One study by psychologist Clay Routledge found that recounting shared moments between you and your loved one increases feelings of social connectedness, and even makes you more supportive and considerate of each other. To dig even deeper into nostalgia, we suggest talking about your experiences growing up. When advice is wanted, giving advice is one of the most powerful forms of engagement between two people, according to Professor Julia Glazer.
Combined, these two signals communicate an extremely high level of trust, which creates a deeper level of closeness. On the other side of it, asking for advice and expressing vulnerability also fosters intimacy.
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Your pleasure centers light up like a Christmas tree, and a hormone called oxytocin is released. Another name for oxytocin? Several new studies show that the release of oxytocin makes us more sympathetic, supportive, and open with our feelings. This may seem obvious, yet many of us neglect to ask our partners about their specific preferences. From asking which activities they enjoy most, to what they value in their friendships with others, understanding their perspective will help us become better partners to them.
Similarly, learning how your loved one likes to be comforted when times are tough is a valuable conversation to have. According to psychologist Donn Byrne , we feel more connected to people who hold similar attitudes as us. In fact, a review of studies with over 35, participants found that similarity is a very strong predictor of attraction and connection in relationships. Because when two people have a similar gravitational pull, it creates less division and less judgement among them.
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